Almond Activators

India, Utah & Chinese Limos: The World vs. Coronavirus

A few days ago I mentioned Bill Gates, ID2020 and the magic quantum dot dye developed at MIT (but actually). Never to be outdone, India has unveiled it’s own system worthy of a 2020 Superpower™.

HAND STAMPS USING INDELIBLE INK

This government-issued swag is bestowed upon lucky travelers arriving at airports in the western state of Maharashtra and southern Karnataka state. The stamp indicates the date which a person must remain under home quarantine, manditorily adding the slogan “proud to protect”. It should be noted that licking the back of your hand won’t allow you to transfer it to your friend (Cover is only $5, stop being cheap).

Jhakaas

People have been jumping quarantine and it has been a challenge to track them. But we have formed hundreds of squads, including policemen to track and ensure people follow the norms.

-Amar Fettle, head of coronavirus control team in Kerala

Meanwhile, in China—Shouqi Limousine & Chauffeur is shifting the paradigm with “another anti-outbreak intelligent solution”. Front-line limo drivers will receive much needed intel in the form of infrared thermometers.

Temperature detection and early warning demonstration of infrared thermometers

The device will periodically monitor the temperature of all the people in the car and report it to the system upon control of the driver. Then the system makes the secondary judgement based on big data and AI algorithms. For instance, if a temperature warning is generated, the system will inform the driver and operations staff via email and short messages to guide the driver to carry out the inspection and disinfection procedures.

-Shouqi Limousine & Chauffeur
Bugmen Super Exterminator Deathsquads

ELECTROSTATIC SPRAY GUNS

Febreze eternally BTFO as spray-tech in 2020 makes use of charged particles to ensure full coverage of whatever you’re trying to ctrl+z. Schools in Utah are already wielding this tech in the coronawars, arming their Jannies with hospital-grade detergent and a blank check.

This chemical we’re using here is Hypochlorous acid. It’s 50 times more powerful than chlorine bleach

-Todd Muir, Lead Custodian

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.