According to the good folks over at http://www.airships.net, a blimp is “a powered, steerable, lighter-than-air vehicle whose shape is maintained by the pressure of the gases within its envelope.” 

As we can observe in this breathtaking footage, the brave men, women and xer’s who launched the “Trump Baby Blimp” were actually releasing a balloon. They were #StrongerTogether managing to #Resist the buoyancy of helium by grasping at straws strings. Limp wrists need not apply.

This balloon masquerading as a blimp was birthed via this Crowdfunder page, which has raised £32,690 thus far. Citing a £700 cost to inflate their Performance Art, we start running into some uncomfortable math. I found this website offering a 15ft. balloon, custom printed from $3,154.00 (£2383.98).

The official word on the blimp balloon is that it cost £3,500, meaning they spent over £1000 on an extra 4 1/2 ft. of cringe.

The balloon was designed by Matt Bonner, who “works” as graphic designer for activist groups. If you accidentally ingest poison and need to purge, I suggest you check out his website, RevoltDesign. His partner on this project is “climate campaigner” Leo Murray. Here are some hot takes from Matt’s overwhelmingly eDgY website.

WE

and tomorrow

I wish I were Joking

I know, I too am shaken to the core and reconsidering my life up until this point. The big question now is what will Matt and Leo do with this ~£28,000 windfall? Matt and Leo weren’t born yesterday, these keen entrepreneurial capitalists are going to milk this thing for all it’s got.

Why wouldn’t they? They have legacy media selling the lie that their balloon is a blimp and claiming that “tens of thousands” are showing up for D-Day 2.0: Blimp Wars.

In the days leading up to this large scale protest, there was talk on dark web extremist hate sites such as 9gag.com and reddit.com/r/dankmemes regarding a possible operation involving a flying drone and some razor-blades. However, upon more thorough assessment of this modest balloon not fit for Puff Daddy’s cousin’s niece’s 7th Birthday Party; it was determined the inflatable was unworthy of the effort. We can only hope the Dark Knights of the interwebz stop these dirigible-welding tycoons before they destroy us all. Perhaps if they crowdfund enough money, and Laura Loomer’s Boomers give her enough money; the three can meet in Vegas for a  vacation  interview.